Wednesday, January 25, 2017

BOOK REVIEW - HIGH FIVE by JANET EVANOVICH - STEPHANIE PLUM # 5 - CONTEMPORARY CRIME - PAN MACMILLAN

By: Janet Evanovich
Published By: Pan Macmillan
Released: Available Now
Details: Paperback from library, 336 Pages

RATING: 4.5 TEAM RANGER STARS!

Blurb: Goodreads

What’s Stephanie up to now?

Her Uncle Fred has disappeared. A body turns up in a garbage bag. She’s got a nasty bookie following her around town. Grandma Mazur has her hands on the stun gun. Stephanie can’t keep a car for more than forty-eight hours. Two men are trying to get her into bed. She has nothing to wear to the Mafia wedding. And there’s an angry little man (don’t call him a dwarf!) who won’t leave her apartment.

Bail jumping in Trenton is down to small potatoes. Stephanie’s only open case is a small bond for a small violation, committed by a small person who raises Stephanie’s frustration level in big ways. So short of money and long on bills, Stephanie comes up with a plan-–diversify! Signing on as an intern with entrepreneurial Super Bounty Hunter Ranger, Stephanie ventures into Ranger’s mostly morally correct and marginally legal operations.

None of this makes vice cop Joe Morelli a happy man. The cop in him can’t help but wonder as to the source of Stephanie’s expensive new cars. And the rest of him, the man who’s been friend and lover to Stephanie, can’t help but wonder if there’s more to the partnership than meets the eye.

The internship is downgraded to second priority when Uncle Fred goes missing. Even though Grandma Mazur is sure he was abducted by aliens, Stephanie sets out to look for Fred. He’s a perfectly average senior citizen, and he’s disappeared without a trace while running errands. He’s left his ten-year-old Pontiac station wagon locked up nice and neat in the Grand Union parking lot, the cleaning is carefully arranged on the back seat, and his wife is at home, waiting for him to return with the bread and the milk and the olive loaf bologna. Locked in the top drawer of his desk are photos of a body, dismembered and stuffed into a garbage bag. And locked away in the computer files of a another average citizen are the clues that will lead Stephanie to Fred.



BOOK REVIEW:

I adore the Stephanie Plum series. Sure there is a similar recipe every book I have read to date, but eh…wonderful poolside reading.

We have cars blowing up…check!



He looked down at the flattened, charred piece of scrap metal pressed into the macadam.

“That’s the Porsche,” I said. “It exploded and caught fire and then the garbage truck fell over on it.”

I especially like the part about the garbage truck.”

“I was afraid you might be mad.”

“Cars are easy to come by, Babe. People are harder to replace. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I was lucky. I was just waiting to see what you wanted to do with the Porsche.”

“Not much anybody’s going to do with that dead soldier,” Ranger said. “Think we’ll walk away from this one.”

“It was a great car.”

Ranger took one last look at it. “You might be more the Humvee type,” he said, steering me toward the Mercedes.


Grandma Mazur and Lula being hilarious…check!

Steph doing things her own way, which is never the right way…check!

Ranger…Oh my lawdy. He can keep doing what he is doing. I get such a lady boner for him. Funnily enough, Joe has to work harder to give me a lady boner. It’s Ranger all the way for me. * sigh *

Each book Janet adds a quirky character and Randy Briggs is such a fun addition. I want to see more of him. Briggs and Lula’s banter… 


“Eeeeeeeee,” Briggs shrieked. “Eeeeeeeee.”

“Stop that!” Lula yelled. “You sound like a girl. You’re creeping me out.”




Did I mention missing appendages and dead bodies? Check!

Let’s face it I just want to quote some Ranger moments.


My kitchen is small, and Ranger seemed to be taking up a lot of space, standing very close. He reached around me and snagged two salad bowls from the over-the-counter cabinet. “It’s not length of life that’s important,” he said. “It’s the quality. The goal is to have purity of mind and body.”

“Do you have a pure mind and body?”

Ranger locked eyes with me. “Not right now.”



And then we learn something about the ever mysterious Ranger.



Who was this man? He owned office buildings in Boston. And he was the … I was having a hard time merging this new knowledge into my mental Ranger-the-gunrunner/bounty-hunter file.

Stephanie is a bit low on FTAs so she gains employment through Ranger. This was always gonna be a good thing for me. 



I was feeling much too attracted to him. Ranger wasn’t listed under potential boyfriends in my Rolodex. Ranger was listed under crazed mercenaries. An attraction to Ranger would be like chasing after the doomsday orgasm.


His eyes dropped to the towel and then back to my face. “Returning your hat, Babe.” He put the SEALs hat on my head and adjusted it over my damp hair. “You left it in the lobby.”

“Oh, thanks.”

Ranger smiled.

“What?” I asked.

“Cute,” Ranger said.




Joe Morelli needs to catch my eye more. I feel I am letting Team Morelli down as I am Team Ranger.



Morelli looked down at my utility belt.

“What kind of a statement is this?”

“Fear.”

He gave his head a disbelieving shake. “You know what my biggest fear is? I worry that someday you might be the mother of my children.”




See they are inevitable, so I need to get on Team Morelli, but when Janet writes Ranger the way she does…then I am all about the Team Ranger. Also I have that visual of Ranger from the One For The Money movie…and I likey.



Okay so lots of shenanigans happen, banter flows, sexual tension is imminent and villains are hankering to get Steph. All in all, I had an entertaining time with many giggles.



“The balls in your court,” Ranger said. “Let me know when you’re ready.”

“For the car?”

He smiled.



SEE!

Janet it’s your fault I’m Team Ranger when you write all this stuff with Ranger being so darn rawrrrrr.


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