Monday, June 9, 2014

BOOK REVIEW - DECKER'S WOOD by KIRSTY DALLAS - CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE - ROMANTIC COMEDY

By: Kirsty Dallas
Published By: Kirsty Dallas
Released : Available Now
Details: Digital file for honest review, 235 Pages

RATING: 4.5 DECKER'S HELICOPTER STARS!!

Blurb: Goodreads

Decker Steele had it made...Penthouse apartment, VIP parties, girls on tap. 

You see, Decker Steele is the Pornography Associations award winning, money making machine. But what does a self-confessed, pussy pounding warrior do when his prized package begins to fail? Freak the 'F' out, that's what!

Andi Jennings is the socially inept, geeky and awkward cousin of Decker's best friend. Only she's not so geeky and awkward anymore. Now she's a smokin' hot country bumpkin, with a smokey voice made for phone sex, and a pair of hot as hell cowboy boots. Everyone adores her, my porn star buddies, my mom and dad, my 'equipment'.

So, the prized package isn't so failing anymore, the catch is, it will only perform for Andi...My friend WITHOUT benefits.

What will the prince of porn do? The girl or the career?



** Reader Warning** - This novel is NOT a dark romance. There are absolutely no whips or floggers, no matter how much Andi wants to smack Decker over the head at times. There are no BDSM slavery themes, unless you can count that Decker is a slave to Andi’s hot cowboy boots and sexy Texan drawl. Decker’s Wood does however feature glitter rain, manscaping, vajazzle, tequila shots, roof-top dancing and one hell of a dick trick!

For Mature Audiences – sexual situations and language which some readers may find offensive



BOOK REVIEW by Michelle:

Decker Steele.

Ryder Harder.

With names like those, you know Kirsty is going to be sending some humor our way with her romantic tale of a porn star.

Or ex porn star.

Maybe not quite ex porn star.

He’s still deciding.

Meet Decker Steele, who is very good at being a porn star, until, Mr Winky decides he doesn’t want to play anymore.

What’s a porn star to do?

Pop some pills... or...

Enter Andrea Jennings aka Andi.

Mr Winky has decided he is out of retirement when he is around Andi. Things are looking up. Pun intended.

Decker snorted before letting me go. “It’s a normal male response. Pussy gets close, dick gets hard. It’s how we keep you women happy and satisfied.”


Decker is a lovable guy who happens to have a job in a rather unconventional profession. Decker will have some surprises up his sleeve for you.

I tell you what, this naive noodle needs to get a redtube account just to see what a ‘helicopter’ looks like, visually.

Oh. MyyyYYyyy.

Kirsty has done her research. I bet that was fun and educational. I learnt a lot of terms and some interesting facts from Kirsty’s tale.

Who knew there were awards for ‘eating out pussy’? Hehe! Kinda makes sense though. It is the porn industry. Other organizations have awards for employee of the month. Academy awards have, ‘best costume designer’. Nudity isn’t really a costume that anyone can claim in the porn industry, so ‘eating out pussy’ is a fair award.

Decker has been in the industry since he was twenty. Twelve years of...

I’ve had sex in every position conceivable and then a few very unconceivable positions. I have methodically worked my way through the Karma Sutra and that, my friends, has some impressive feats amongst its covers. I’ve had twosomes, threesomes, foursomes, even five and sixsomes. I’ve had sex in beds, on couches, table, cars, pools, saunas, weight benches, hospital beds, and beaches; in fact, it might be easier to list the places I haven’t screwed. I glanced around the room and shrugged. Nah, nothing came to mind, I’d fucked everywhere. I’m not bragging, but it is what it is. As a porn star, I have accumulated more notches on my bed post than most social man-whores would in a lifetime.


Decker is proud of his time spent in the porn industry, but, Andi has helped him re-evaluate his life.


I liked the reputation I had earned in the industry. I liked the celebrity status. Until now, now it all seemed insignificant and I wanted something more. I wanted to feel my heart beat for a woman; I wanted the powerful draw to someone; I wanted to feel what my parents felt, that unconditional love and acceptance of just one person. I had been living a dream where I thought I was the man every man wanted to be, when in fact, I was alone and unfulfilled.


He understands having a relationship with a woman is not an easy thing, when you are getting your wanger out for somebody like Melody Mona,  it doesn’t really send your significant other, the best message.

I didn’t do exclusive, not in this industry. It was unfair for a woman to be tolerant of me screwing other women, even for work, and any woman who was tolerant of it wasn’t the kind of woman I wanted to be exclusive with.


Andi is making Decker think about where his life is heading and the bigger picture of his future, and she doesn’t even know he is in the porn industry.

That be the power of Andi’s ... err, kitten.

But then, the cat is out of the bag.

Kirsty has written some great sub characters. Casey and Lionel are simply gorgeous. Casey is always there for a helping hand and some words of wisdom, with Lionel pulling up the rear.

Did I just say that?


“Don’t speak blasphemy,” scoffed Casey. “An adorable little stunner like you shouldn’t have any trouble having the vayjay tuned regularly. Lionel and I will help you find a technician.”



“Baby,” he crooned in Casey’s ear. “There is no point in arguing with stupid, they will drag you down and beat you with experience every time.”


Lionel, you and I could be great friends.

Leah is another character I really liked.

This is my first porn star romance full of humor, and me thinks some possible seeds dropped for a future couple characters.

Or not. But here’s hoping. J

Awww and a big thank you to Kirsty throwing my name up in the acknowledgements among many.

PANAMA BABY!!

Now if you wanna know what that could possibly mean, then you could read my review of Tortured Soul by Kirsty, better still pick up her Mercy's Angel's series, cause it's a beauty.

Also while I am pimping away, it is kinda my mission to get readers to pick up Breeze Of Life. It is the most beautiful read. 

TRUST ME!


Michelle

2 comments:

  1. Sounds like a hoot! I remember I saw a snippet of the AVN awards one night when I was bbored and no good movie was on. It's the porn Oscars, I can't watch it through though, it was too raunchy for me LOL

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sounds like a great time! ;) Seriously though, I'm going to have to pick up this one. And possibly all of Ms. Dallas' books. *ha*

    ReplyDelete

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