Showing posts with label 4 STARS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 4 STARS. Show all posts

Sunday, September 9, 2018

BOOK REVIEW: ELIZABETH AND THE CLAN OF DRAGONS by AVA MASON - RH FATED ALPHA # 1 - PARANORMAL ROMANCE

By: Ava Mason
Published By: Ava Mason
Released: Available Now
Details: Kindle purchase, 114 Pages

RATING: 4 STARS

Blurb: Goodreads

A female Wolf in danger. Four Sexy Dragons determined to protect her. A Reverse Harem Paranormal Romance.

Elizabeth is certain she’s not meant to rule the Southeastern White Tooth Pack. Since birth, she’s been told she was the wolf pack’s fated leader. She is, after all, the first-born of the pack Alpha. But how can she lead them if she’s never shifted? She doubts herself, but her fate is tied to the moon and Elizabeth is honor-bound to fulfill her destiny. To help Elizabeth, her mother presents her with a secret diamond necklace, magical jewels that have adorned the neck of every female in her family for hundreds of years.

But evil forces lurk in the shadows.
Not every wolf shifter in the pack wants Elizabeth to take power. When the Wolf Council sanctions Elizabeth as the official Fated Alpha, enemies attack her family, killing her parents. When they discover that Elizabeth survived, she must flee for her life. With nowhere to go, help comes in the form of four sexy and powerful Dragon shifters.

The fierce warriors offer her their protection in their secluded mountain home.
As Elizabeth mends, it’s clear the four Dragon shifters crave more from her. All four men desire her. Each wants to claim her body and heart and soul.
As her enemies close in, can the men keep Elizabeth safe by their side and help her reclaim her place as leader of her pack?




BOOK REVIEW:

This story starts off in one direction, and I actually forgot dragons were going to be involved and then we make an abrupt right angle.

Enter the dragons.

I did like the idea for this story. I do understand it is a shorter read, but within these pages, I would have liked a little more time spent in some areas.

I really liked Aaron’s character, but then…

I ended up pretty much forgetting about the lad in the first part of the story as I'm now in the reverse harem of sexy dragons, which I likey, maybe a little bit too much.

Hunter is a fave.

I did feel like Elizabeth's character was more seventeen than twenty-four, but then there is what felt like a rather large leap in maturity towards the end of this first installment, which I found a little hard to grab hold of.

I think what I am trying to convey is the story felt a little hurried along for me to be able to give five stars.

I will be reading more in this series as I am intrigued and the covers are beautiful.

I will say this was a good start, but for me personally, I would have liked the change in direction to have been a little more curved—not so hurried and more depth to Elizabeth's character and some of the scenes.

I did enjoy this read.


Monday, August 20, 2018

BOOK REVIEW: KISS OF A DRAGON by ALISA WOODS - FALLEN IMMORTALS # 1 - PARANORMAL ROMANCE


By: Alisa Woods
Published By: Sworn Secrets Publishing
Released: Available Now
Details: Kindle purchase, 281 Pages - FREE

RATING: 4 LUCIAN STARS!

Blurb: Goodreads

LUCIAN 

I am a Dragon Prince of the House of Smoke… and I am dying. 
Five hundred years is truly enough for a man like me. A monster. Yet a ten-thousand-year treaty will die with me if I don’t spawn a dragonling to take my place. My two brothers are no use in this task. It falls to me, the eldest by a hair’s breadth, and yet, I cannot face the horror of another sealing. Another death. Another woman’s blood on my hands. 

ARABELLA 
I was saved from death in a dark Seattle alley by an impossibly beautiful man who swooped in on golden wings. Now he’s taken me to his lair, opened my eyes to a world of immortals I didn’t know existed, and given me an impossible task—find him a mate. Then, and only then, will he set me free. 

He needs her more than he wants; she wants him more than she should; and the fate of both the mortal and immortal worlds depends on not just repairing their hearts, but finding a Love that’s True… 



BOOK REVIEW:

This was my first Alisa Woods read and I really enjoyed meeting Lucian, Leonidas, and Leksander, the three dragon prince triplets.


He and his brothers, princes of the House of Smoke, existed for literally one purpose—to keep the mortal and immortal worlds apart, as they should be.


Lucian Smoke was the crown prince of the House of Smoke. He was responsible for fulfilling the requirements of the treaty, which included finding a mate ASAP and producing a dragonling heir—or end up wyvern—on top of managing all things in the realms.

Arabella finds herself in a pickle in an alleyway and before long she finds herself in Lucian’s lair, striking a deal with the crown prince.

All truths may not have been disclosed.

Alisa throws in a few villains to spice up the pages and make us want to know more about Zephan the Fae Prince and Tytus, the leader of the House of Drakkon.


Not least the House of Drakkon, an unsavory nest of black dragons that had been plaguing the city and battling with the House of Smoke for years.


I will be coming back for more because I gotta know what happens in this series. The writing was really good, I just would have liked more depth to this first installment in the plot, but I still enjoyed Kiss of the Dragon. I just found some things a little too convenient. I think that is a fair comment to make.




Monday, July 2, 2018

BOOK REVIEW: DOG WITH A BONE by HAILEY EDWARDS - BLACK DOG # 1- URBAN FANTASY

By: Hailey Edwards
Published By: Hailey Edwards
Released: Available Now
Details: Free Kindle Purchase

RATING: 4 STARS

Blurb: Goodreads

Half-bloods with Thierry’s skill set are given two options. They can join the conclave’s marshal program, or they can pack their bags. Turn down the job offer, and you’ve just shredded your residency pass for the mortal realm and booked yourself a one-way ticket to Faerie.

Texas is the only home Thierry has ever known, and she’s not going anywhere. Even if it means following in her notorious father’s footsteps as a peacekeeper. But pinning on the badge opens her eyes to the fact sometimes fae need protection too, and that sometimes humans are the real monsters.


BOOK REVIEW:


I’ve not read any Hailey Edwards before Dog with A Bone. I picked it up because A) It was a freebie and B) It is a short read. I’d just come off reading two books, one after the other, 400+ pages each, and I needed a short read in my system. Hailey’s book caught my eye, while scrolling about Amazon (not that I needed to look for any more books to purchase if you knew how many I have on the cloud).

This story starts off with a brief jaunt in the scrapyard where Thierry passes her cadetship and becomes a marshal. In the scrapyard opening scene, I meet Shaw and Mai and then after a few days off… (no spoilers here)

Bam! Marshal Thackery (Thierry) of the Southwestern Conclave was reporting for duty and receiving OJT (on the job training) with Marshall Shaw on Monday morning. Then we are rushing head first into a case, that wasn’t a whodunit. I was looking forward to having some suspects, throwing about other characters and getting into the thick of it, but it didn't actually go that way.

I did enjoy this introduction to Thierry and Shaw and a rather erm… confusing start to this series. When I say confusing, I am not easily confused, but I kept feeling a bit baffled as to the rushed world-building and the Richardson case. I felt like I was missing some pieces and I was floundering about, but I kept rolling with the story and then my eye was twitching because I felt a bit lost with the speed and lack of solid world-building to put me in that comfy place.

Finishing the ebook, the end book matter actually states: Dog With A Bone is a prequel to the series in the sense that the novella cuts a hole into the ceiling of Thierry’s past and gives us a glimpse of those first steps that set the events of the trilogy into motion one year later.

Cool. I appreciate those words from the author. I think I would have preferred to get to know Cadet Thackery a lot more in this prequel and the hints dropped by the author between Thierry and her instructor having some sort of crush or something that happened during that cadetship.

Thierry is eighteen and Shaw is…I may have missed his age, but he is a lot older or felt that way in this prequel. Not that that matters.

I feel I missed actually getting that introduction into Thierry and her cadetship at the marshal academy. It was totally a glimpse and then we were onto the Richardsons without really learning much about the world the author has created and those hints of something between Thierry and her instructor.

I have purchased several more books by this author from her other series' as well as this series for me to sink my reader teeth into. 

I did like the action and I do like Thierry and Shaw. 

I enjoyed this read and I will be onward bound for more Hailey Edwards’ books in the future.



Sunday, May 20, 2018

BOOK REVIEW - TILL DEATH by JENNIFER L ARMENTROUT - WILLIAM MORROW - SUSPENSE ROMANCE

By: Jennifer L Armentrout
Published By: William Morrow
Released: Available Now
Details: Paperback from the library, 384 Pages

RATING: 4 COLE STARS!

Blurb: Goodreads

In New York Times bestselling author Jennifer L. Armentrout’s gripping new novel, a young woman comes home to reclaim her life—even as a murderer plots to end it. . . 

It’s been ten years since Sasha Keaton left her West Virginia hometown . . . since she escaped the twisted serial killer known as the Groom. Returning to help run her family inn means being whole again, except for one missing piece. The piece that falls into place when Sasha’s threatened—and FBI agent Cole Landis vows to protect her the way he couldn’t a decade ago.

First one woman disappears; then another, and all the while, disturbing calling cards are left for the sole survivor of the Groom’s reign of terror. Cole’s never forgiven himself for not being there when Sasha was taken, but he intends to make up for it now . . . because under the quirky sexiness Cole first fell for is a steely strength that only makes him love Sasha more.

But someone is watching. Waiting. And Sasha’s first mistake could be her last.




BOOK REVIEW:

Till Death is a suspense read combined with a second chance romance.

Jennifer knows how to give us the delicious ex-boyfriend from ten years prior and weave the second chance romance from the rubble of the horrible, near death experience Sasha had when she was I think nineteen. The Groom abducted her and did all sorts of awful things to her.

The Groom, a serial killer, was collecting brides (girls) and eventually killing them. Without spoiling, Sasha, the only survivor of The Groom, comes back to West Virginia to help her mother run the Inn ten years later and bodies start piling up again.

There’s a new killer in town. Da…da…da…daaaaaa!

It has taken me a while to write this review because I did admittedly guess very quickly who the killer was, which is a pet peeve for me. Being quite obvious I thought the editors or beta readers may have hollered at Jennifer at the time. I am not the first to find the killer to be too obvious, but eh, there will be others who won’t. A suspense read for me has to be suspenseful.

This book definitely has creepy parts.

I did enjoy the story, but I think the essential element of whodunnit was spoiled for me, but that is okay.

I will always pick up a JLA book and read it.


Tuesday, March 13, 2018

BOOK REVIEW: WRITTEN IN RED by ANNE BISHOP - THE OTHERS # 1 - PENGUIN - URBAN FANTASY

By: Anne Bishop
Published By: Penguin
Released: Available Now
Details: Paperback, 484 Pages

RATING: 4 STARS!

Blurb: Goodreads

No one creates realms like New York Times bestselling author Anne Bishop. Now in a thrilling new fantasy series, enter a world inhabited by the Others, unearthly entities—vampires and shape-shifters among them—who rule the Earth and whose prey are humans.


As a cassandra sangue, or blood prophet, Meg Corbyn can see the future when her skin is cut—a gift that feels more like a curse. Meg’s Controller keeps her enslaved so he can have full access to her visions. But when she escapes, the only safe place Meg can hide is at the Lakeside Courtyard—a business district operated by the Others.

Shape-shifter Simon Wolfgard is reluctant to hire the stranger who inquires about the Human Liaison job. First, he senses she’s keeping a secret, and second, she doesn’t smell like human prey. Yet a stronger instinct propels him to give Meg the job. And when he learns the truth about Meg and that she’s wanted by the government, he’ll have to decide if she’s worth the fight between humans and the Others that will surely follow.

BOOK REVIEW:


This is my first Anne Bishop read that I had recommended to me. I adore urban fantasy and paranormal romance in YA and adult.

This book has garnered many, many thousands of five star reviews and that is absolutely fantastic. It is a real mixed bag when it comes to the age bracket.

It’s not typical YA. I am not sure how old Meg the lead female character even is, but she feels young, but parts of this story feel not YA.

Anne has done a wonderful job with writing something very different in this genre. The ‘others’ are quite scary, if you are a human. They will eat you, if you fark-up, without hesitation.

Meg is like the missing jewel in their crown. She's a special snowflake to this group.

Meg is a character I found pleasant. She’s super nice. She delivers the mail for the others and builds relationships with the most unlikely ‘others’.

Simon, Vlad, Henry, Tess… to name a few, have their roles that are sometimes scary, but then they can be so understanding and totally love Meg, in their own way. 

I laughed out loud at Vlad’s comment.



“Is it that time of the month?” Vlad asked.

Some feeling blew through her. It might have been embarrassment, but she suspected it was closer to rage. “What?”

He studied her. “Is that not an appropriate question to ask?”

“No!”

“Odd. In many novels I’ve read, human males often ask that question when a female is acting…” Puzzlement as he continued to study her face. “Although, now that I consider it, they usually don’t make that observation to the female herself.”




They all love her and that is lovely. Meg has her secrets as she is in hiding from the peeps we don’t ever meet, but hear about. I didn't get a real sense of these villains, because they used their henchmen to do the dirty work. I can't put a face to The Controller, Meg's controller.

Anne has thrown in the annoying character, Asia, who is more a fly you want to swat, rather than a character that has great importance to the story. She is used more as a means to an end.

I adore Winter. She really is my favorite sub character in this story. The seasons in this book were amazing. So well written. They do have the power to wipe the earth clean… hence the ice age and the dinosaurs. Which made me question who truly was the leader when you have that kind of power that could really stop Simon and the others in their tracks?



“Kindness,” Winter murmured, taking the scarf and wrapping it around her neck. “So unexpected.”



The first 100 odd pages, give or take, I found hard to get through, for a little lack of interest, but I could see how many four and five star reviews were on Goodreads, and the 37,000 plus ratings the book currently has received, so I pushed on.

Meg’s character honestly really does just deliver mail in this first instalment for most of the book. But it is the connections she makes with the others along the way that writes the story. Sure she is the blood prophet and she does her thing and sees things, but predominantly her character delivers mail.

This is an incredibly descriptive story to a point I was like, dude!

There is no romance, but Meg is kinda the romance for the 'other' characters. They simply adore her, for the most part.

Sam the wolf pup is a great character and I loved the interaction with Meg and Sam. She does things the way she innocently thinks is right and she in a way teaches the others a new way of looking at things they would normally take insult to—or kill you for.

I liked Monty and his interaction with the others. He’s a good guy who is trying to work alongside the others and stay alive doing it.

If you are looking for a lead female character that is written to be kickass, then Meg isn’t that in this book, she's more a gentle, thoughtful soul. By the end of this installment, she's taught the others a few things, which in a way helps them to be a little teeny bit more compassionate to the humans working for them. 

They are foremost killers and will rip you apart and sell your human meat if you do the wrong thing. Humans are not the dominant beings, the others are, but they learn from Meg.



“They really aren’t human, Karl,” Monty said. “Intellectually, I knew that. Now I know that with the body as well as brain. The terra indigene aren’t animals who turn into humans or humans who turn into animals. They really are man shape because it suited them. They gained something from the human form, whether it was standing upright or having the convenience of fingers and thumbs, just like they gained something from the animal forms they absorbed.”



I enjoyed the last 70 pages the most as the action came into play, otherwise there is a lot of pages where Meg is delivering mail and who she meets along the way. She likes to hand out treats, with Asia popping in and out to be really just annoying. (where’s that fly swatter?)

I still give this four stars, but for me and my reading tastes, it is a very slow large middle section, but I am totally invested in reading the rest of the series. 



Thursday, February 22, 2018

BOOK REVIEW: LIVING DEAD IN DALLAS by CHARLAINE HARRIS - SOOKIE STACKHOUSE # 2 - GOLLANCZ - PARANORMAL ROMANCE

By: Charlaine Harris
Published By: Gollancz
Released: Available Now
Details: Omnibus paperback from library, 722 Pages
Living Dead In Dallas is 217 pages of this omnibus.

RATING: 4 STARS!

Blurb: Goodreads

Cocktail waitress Sookie Stackhouse is having a streak of bad luck. First her co-worker is killed, and no one seems to care. Then she comes face to-face with a beastly creature that gives her a painful and poisonous lashing. Enter the vampires, who graciously suck the poison from her veins (like they didn't enjoy it).

The point is: they saved her life. So when one of the bloodsuckers asks for a favor, she obliges - and soon Sookie's in Dallas, using her telepathic skills to search for a missing vampire. She's supposed to interview certain humans involved, but she makes one condition: the vampires must promise to behave and let the humans go unharmed. But that's easier said than done, and all it takes is one delicious blonde and one small mistake for things to turn deadly....




BOOK REVIEW:

I’m going to start by saying I decided to watch 3 episodes of Trueblood after I had finished the second book. I think I so far prefer watching the show.

This was a good read, but I am so not connecting with Bill and Sookie in the paperback, thus far, but now I have seen 3 episodes on TV, I feel they express more emotion as actors playing their characters.

I am trying with Bill, but I find him dull in the book. It was great being introduced to Stan and some of the other vampires and there was a great story attached to that.

I think about halfway through this book I started to get into the swing, no pun intended (refer below paragraph) with Sookie and her detective type mission.


I still enjoyed this instalment, but I wouldn’t rave about it. *hides under pillow*

I felt a little awkies with the orgy scene. Not because it was an orgy scene. Pffft! I devour erotic books, but because the characters felt awkward in the scene. Eric in pink lycra…hmmm…I shall say no more. Maybe I need to look at the year this book was written and the clothing styles of the era. I get it was supposed to be funny? But this is Eric!!!

I sometimes feel (and this is me and my personal expectations), that parts need to be fleshed out more in this book between Bill and Sookie. I felt that a bit with book 1, too. I know there is a massive fan base for this series, but I personally would like some more emotion with Bill on paper and I feel he’s not your typical ‘dream’ vampire book boyfriend—yet.

The sexual content seems to overshadow where more fleshing out could be inserted. I want to believe in these two and I feel like I am floating rather than getting depth.

I’ve got the omnibus from my local library because I can’t find books 2 and 3 in my library but they seem to have book 1 and 4 onwards.

Go figure.

I have purchased paperbacks for 4 onwards to keep me happy for a while from my local newsagent, but they didn't have 1-3.

This omnibus is really an uncomfortable weight to read snuggled in bed. It’s like a big, heavy brick. I think it would be the heaviest book I have ever held as a fictional novel, and I have to grip it hard it’s that heavy.

Note to publishers: Don’t release such a whopping heavy paperback. Reading is for snuggling in bed, or snuggling somewhere. Not getting knocked in the face with the book or struggling to hold the thing up. It’s really a lay-on-your-tummy read or sit at a table.

I am very intrigued to know more about this series, so I will heft this whopping book back up ( it will be left side heavy this time) and crack on with Club Dead.


Tuesday, December 26, 2017

BOOK REVIEW : SMOKIN' SEVENTEEN by JANET EVANOVICH - STEPHANIE PLUM # 17 - HEADLINE - CONTEMPORARY CRIME

By: Janet Evanovich
Published By: Headline
Released: Available Now
Details: Paperback from library, 306 Pages

RATING: 4 STARS

Blurb: Goodreads

Where there’s smoke there’s fire, and no one knows this better than New Jersey bounty hunter Stephanie Plum.

Dead bodies are showing up in shallow graves on the empty construction lot of Vincent Plum Bail Bonds. No one is sure who the killer is, or why the victims have been offed, but what is clear is that Stephanie’s name is on the killer’s list. Short on time to find the murderer, Stephanie is also under pressure from family and friends to choose between her on-again-off-again boyfriend, Trenton cop Joe Morelli, and the bad boy in her life, security expert Ranger. Stephanie’s mom wants her to dump them both for a former high school football star who’s just returned to town. Stephanie’s sidekick, Lula, suggests a red-hot boudoir “bake-off.” And Joe’s old-world grandmother gives Stephanie “the eye,” which may mean that it’s time to get out of town.

With a cold-blooded killer after her, a handful of hot men, and a capture list that includes a dancing bear and a senior citizen vampire, Stephanie’s life looks like it’s about to go up in smoke.


BOOK REVIEW:

I feel like saying, ‘Scooby and The Gang are back’, with this never aging series of mystery and shenanigans.

I started reviewing this series 26th November 2016, so I’ve averaged one book a month (sort of).

Very much a rinse and repeat series, but I can’t seem to stop reading it, even though yet again the villain—the murderer—was so plainly obvious and Steph couldn’t see what was in front of her nose.

I adore Lula and Steph, but I am almost craving more growth from them. They can be funny and silly, but let’s see some growth in their skills.

Surely by now they have learned the best technique to catch an FTA?

After this many books, it’s plain to see that Steph’s dad lives a very unhappy life. I would like to see the man get a night out with his wife… something! Poor mum irons when she is stressed, and that is a lot. Let’s see those two look happy to be married to each other.

I am soooooooooo #teamranger but even his dialogue and actions are starting to feel de ja vu. It’s a little flat and when Steph and Ranger do get it on… I’ve lost my ability to even care, I think, because I know nothing will come of it.

Somebody slap me in the face for saying that!

Joe… you poor, poor man. Janet, what are you doing to him? #unsureofhowifeelaboutacertainsomething

I really don’t know that many authors that can get away with no growth and constant recycling of story to no real resolution for this many books and more and sell so many freakin’ books. I do know there are another 6 books for me to read and there will be no resolution or growth and I can be okay with that... but I wish I had more.

It’s the weirdest thing. It’s like Bella, Joe’s grandmother has given me the stink-eye and addicted me to these books, even though you could skip every 6th one and read a quarter of them and be satisfied you haven’t missed anything in Joe-Steph-Ranger world.

I congratulate the author/publishers on convincing readers to stick with this series for so long… twenty years!!! That is freakin’ amazing, but is it time after #23 to close up shop, or shake the shit out of this series?

With so many books and authors flooding the market, it ain’t like it used to be pre 2010.

I am still addicted, but I think I get a little less enthusiastic with each rinse and repeat, because it feels like Janet is a little less enthusiastic. There are so many avenues to shake this series up and still keep her strict formula (if she must).

Dive deeper with emotions. Make it harder to guess the villain. Give the folks some joy in their lives. Have Grandma Mazur do something different. Lawd... everybody is parking up around her and she’s still forcing her way to the front of the viewing. Bob is still eating knickers—even large ones. Give Rex a girlfriend and a new soup can to sleep in. Teach Steph some self-defence skills.

A series of 6-10 books where the lead characters are doing the same things wrong or recycled, over and over is acceptable, but now I am starting to bang my head against the headboard when reading.

Signed



Still Addicted


Tuesday, December 5, 2017

BOOK REVIEW : SIZZLING SIXTEEN by JANET EVANOVICH - CONTEMPORARY CRIME - HEADLINE

By: Janet Evanovich
Published By: Headline
Released: Available Now
Details: Paperback from OP shop, 309 Pages

RATING: 4 STEPH & THE GANG STARS!

Blurb: Goodreads

Trenton, New Jersey. Bounty hunter Stephanie Plum has inherited a 'lucky' bottle from her Uncle Pip. Problem is, Uncle Pip didn't specify if the bottle brought good luck or bad luck...

Vinnie, of Vincent Plum Bail Bonds, owes a gambling debt to mobster Bobby Sunflower. It's up to Stephanie, office manager Connie, and file clerk Lula to raise the money if they want to save their jobs. Saving the business means Stephanie can keep being a bounty hunter. In Trenton, this involves hunting down a man wanted for polygamy, a Turnpike toilet paper bandit, and a drug dealer with a pet alligator named Mr Jingles.

The job comes with perks in the guise of Trenton's hottest cop, Joe Morelli, and the dark and dangerous security expert, Ranger. With any luck at all, Uncle Pip's lucky bottle will have Stephanie getting lucky - the only question is...with whom?



BOOK REVIEW:

Everything we’ve learned to expect from another Steph Plum installment happened within these pages.

Lula and her colorful tight clothing and eating habits.

Joe and his flirtation.



“They thought I was pretty?”

“Everyone thinks you’re pretty,” Morelli said.

“How about you?”

“Especially me,” he said.




Ranger and his flirtation, which got ohhh so close. #teamranger And the dealeo with car lending.



Ranger shut the Porsche down. “If you looked at me with half as much longing as you’re looking at that Mercedes, I’d take you upstairs and make you wish you never had to leave my bed.”

“Is the Mercedes for me?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“And the bed… I’d have to leave eventually, wouldn’t I?”

“Yes,” Ranger said.

“Why do you give me cars?”

“It’s fun,” Ranger said. “And it keeps you safe. Do you want to know why keeping you safe is important to me?”

“You love me?”

“Yes.”

A sigh inadvertently escaped. “We’re really screwed up aren’t we?”

“In a large way,” Ranger said.




Shenanigans with villains.

Shenanigans with inept bounty huntering.

What I got quite a giggle out of was Mooner and his Hobbits.

Bahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa…hahaha…aaahhhh…It really was funny.

However, the mental visual of Vinnie wearing Steph’s panties—was not. Ewwwww.



Another installment crushed, that's light on Ranger and Joe and heavy on silly shenanigans and a very OTT plot this time round.

More so than most times.

The last of my OP shop finds has now been devoured. Back to the library I go. #17 I have you in my sights…plus the library will be hollering it’s overdue shortly.


Tuesday, October 24, 2017

BOOK REVIEW - FINGER LICKIN' FIFTEEN by JANET EVANOVICH - STEPHANIE PLUM # 15 - HEADLINE - CONTEMPORARY CRIME


By: Janet Evanovich
Published By: Headline
Released : Available Now
Details: Paperback find from local OP shop, 312 Pages

RATING: 4 RANGER & JOE STARS!

Blurb: Goodreads

Unbuckle your belt and pull up a chair. It's the spiciest, sauciest, most rib-sticking Plum yet.


Recipe for disaster: Celebrity chef Stanley Chipotle comes to Trenton in a barbecue cookoff and loses his head - literally.

Throw in some spice: Bail bonds office worker Lula is witness to the crime, and the only one she'll talk to is Trenton cop Joe Morelli.

Pump up the heat: Chipotle's sponsor is offering a million-dollar reward to anyone who can provide information leading to the capture of the killers.

Stir the pot: Lula recruits bounty hunter Stephanie Plum to help find he killer and collect the moolah.

Add a secret ingredient: Stephanie Plum's Grandma Mazur. Enough said.

Bring to a boil: Stephanie Plum is working overtime tracking felons for the bonds office at night and snooping for security expert Carlos Manoso, aka Ranger, during the day. Can Stephanie hunt down two killers, a traitor, and five skips, keep her grandmother out of the sauce, and solve Ranger's problems and not jump his bones?

Warning: Habenero hot. So good you'll want seconds.



BOOK REVIEW:


I have made it this far.

15! Steph Plum books under my belt.

I am #addicted.

I can’t seem to stop, even though they can be frustrating to read, I simply gotta keep reading.

Same shit goes on: Lula is up to her antics, this time with some madcap barbecue scheme. Steph is back working with Ranger on something he could do himself. But she is in his bed in a purely platonic way, and that is something. #teamranger

No new growth. Joe is Joe. Ranger is Ranger… Babe. Grandma Mazur…is the same. The villain is pretty much predictable.

BUT I CAN’T STOP READING THIS SERIES.

I do laugh, even though some of them are boiling down to fart jokes. I fart. I admit it, but eh, it felt like scraping the bucket to get a laugh. But I laughed. Lula is simply a character we have grown to know is the butt of Janet’s jokes. (pun intended)

I do want some growly manly stuff to be upping the stakes a little, but we get a lot of ‘Babe’ from Ranger and a lot of racing to the scene from Joe after he hears about another situation Steph is in.

Cars get blown up. I find I am looking forward to the moment. Is that bad?

Very much poolside reads for me, but I do want more growth. I am beginning to crave it.

I don’t mind the love triangle stretching out, but I want there to be more oomph in it rather than this predictable surface writing we are getting.

I have my last OP shop find in #16 and have already lined #17 up at the library. The Kindle prices are a bit rich for me at $9.37US. I got 9 paperbacks from OP shop for $12 buckeroos AUD. Trust me I will pay big bucks for paperbacks and ebooks, but I find that these are very predictable reads, so I will library the rest. I think maybe the publisher got a bit ahead of themselves charging those prices.

Anyhoo…onto the next!


BOOK REVIEW - WHISKEY BEACH by NORA ROBERTS - CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE - PIATKUS

By: Nora Roberts
Published By: Piatkus
Released: Available Now
Details: Paperback from library, 484 Pages

RATING: 3.75 - 4 STARS!

Blurb: Goodreads

For more than three hundred years, Bluff House has sat above Whiskey Beach, guarding its shore - and its secrets.

To summer tourists, it's the crown jewel of the town's stunning scenery. To the residents of Whiskey Beach, it's landmark and legend. To Eli Landon, it's home...

A Boston lawyer, Eli has weathered an intense year of public scrutiny and police investigation after being accused of murdering his soon-to-be ex-wife. And though there was never enough evidence to have him arrested, his reputation is in tatters as well as his soul. He need sanctuary. He needs Bluff House.

While Eli's beloved grandmother is in Boston, recuperating from a nasty fall, Abra Walsh has cared for Bluff House, among her other jobs as yoga instructor, jewelry maker, and massage therapist. She is a woman with an open heart and a wide embrace, and no one is safe from her special, some would say over-bearing, brand of nurturing - including Eli.

He begins to count on Abra for far more than her cooking, cleaning, and massage skills, and starts to feel less like a victim - and more like the kind of man who can finally solve the murder of his wife and clear his name. But Bluff House's many mysteries are a siren song to someone intent on destroying Eli and reaping the rewards. He and Abra will become entangled in a centuries-old net of rumors and half-truths that could pull them under the thunderous waters of Whiskey Beach...

Passion and obsession, humor and heart flow together in a novel about two people opening themselves up to the truth - and to each other.




BOOK REVIEW:

I have just finished this whopping huge book. My very FIRST read by Nora Roberts, although I do read her as J.D. Robb. ( In Death series)

I have read 4 books to-date in the In Death series and adore J.D. Robb’s writing aka Nora Roberts. So I decided to pick me up a random read of Nora’s, which happened to be Whiskey Beach.

I gotta say—and I know Nora is like the queen of writing—but this book didn’t do her queen status justice…for me. This is just my personal reading experience.

I found the book far toooooooo long. I love a long read, but in this case I became a little bit bored and that is not good. It took me a lot longer to read this book than a JR Ward whopping thick read. I devour the In Death books in a day, but this book took me a week.

I originally liked Abra Walsh’s character, but the more I read her, the more she made me feel like the woman was a total superstar at everything she put her hand to. She was the perfect woman—even though her past wasn’t. She kinda grated on my reader nerves. She’s the first character I have read like this and it was a bit hard to read her, sometimes. I understand what Nora was doing, and she wanted to show us a self assured, strong woman who took the reins…but it came off differently for me. I loved she was a yoga instructor and I actually want to take yoga back up because of Abra, but then she was good at every darn thing and then more and other things.

Eli Landon…I couldn’t connect as well as I hoped with him as a character. I wanted to. He felt quite flat to me. 

The pacing was quite slow and I think that could have been remedied by tightening up the story by culling at least a hundred pages. Other readers might be perfectly happy the way it is, but for me, I found this a difficult book to finish.

This experience won’t stop me reading more Nora Roberts, I have The Obsession in my hands to read next. Another random pick from the library.

But I might just take a weee break first before cracking it open.



Tuesday, July 25, 2017

BOOK REVIEW - FEARLESS FOURTEEN by JANET EVANOVICH - STEPHANIE PLUM # 14 - HEADLINE - CONTEMPORARY CRIME


By: Janet Evanovich
Published By: Headline
Released: Available Now
Details: Paperback from OP Shop find, 308 Pages

RATING: 4 SHENANIGAN STARS!

Blurb: Goodreads

Personal vendettas, hidden treasure, and a monkey named Carl will send bounty hunter Stephanie Plum on her most explosive adventure yet.


The Crime: Armed robbery to the tune of nine million dollars

Dom Rizzi robbed a bank, stashed the money, and did the time. His family couldn't be more proud. He always was the smart one.

The Cousin: Joe Morelli

Joe Morelli, Dom Rizzi, and Dom's sister, Loretta, are cousins. Morelli is a cop, Rizzi robs banks, and Loretta is a single mother waiting tables at the firehouse. The all-American family.

The Complications: Murder, kidnapping, destruction of personal property, and acid reflux

Less than a week after Dom's release from prison, Joe Morelli has shadowy figures breaking into his house and dying in his basement. He's getting threatening messages, Loretta is kidnapped, and Dom is missing.

The Catastrophe: Moonman

Morelli hires Walter "Mooner" Dunphy, stoner and "inventor" turned crime fighter, to protect his house. Morelli can't afford a lot on a cop's salary, and Mooner will work for potatoes.

The Cupcake: Stephanie Plum

Stephanie and Morelli have a long-standing relationship that involves sex, affection, and driving each other nuts. She's a bond enforcement agent with more luck than talent, and she's involved in this bank-robbery-gone-bad disaster from day one.

The Crisis: A favor for Ranger

Security expert Carlos Manoso, street name Ranger, has a job for Stephanie that will involve night work. Morelli has his own ideas regarding Stephanie's evening activities.

The Conclusion: Only the fearless should read Fourteen.

Thrills, chills, and incontinence may result.



BOOK REVIEW:
I’m gonna be up front and say this was probably the least favorite in the series for me, but I had a couple of laugh-out-loud moments, mainly to do with sub characters.

I enjoyed Fearless Fourteen enough to keep reading, but it was a bit stagnant all round with the Steph Plum formula.

Lula has always been my go to gal for the funniest sidekick, but this time round she plain annoyed me with her wedding plans for her completely made up wedding to Tank. I kinda got irritated; more than found it funny. There was a lot of eye rolling from me every time the topic came up.

Now the real funny came in the form of Mooner, Gary and Zook. Well, mainly Mooner and Gary—homegrown security. Bahahaha.



Mooner was already at the open living-room window when we walked into the room. He was holding a two-foot section of white PVC pipe that had a smaller pipe glued toward the base.

“Lieutenant Zook,” he said into a two-way attached to his shirt. “Are you in position?”

“Yessir, Captain,” Zook answered from the kitchen.

“Munitions Expert Gary, are you ready?”

“Yessir,” Gary said.

Gary was in the dining room, halfway between Mooner and Zook. He was wearing a utility belt that carried a can of hairspray, and a grill lighter. And he was holding a basket of potatoes. Tucked into the potato basket was a large bag of M&Ms and a large order of fast-food fries still in the cardboard container.

“It’s in case we need a shotgun.”

“Makes sense,”Lula said. And she turned and looked at me and made the crazy signal with her finger going around alongside her head.

Zook’s voice whispered over the two-way. “I got a bandit at two o’clock. I need a partial baked.”

Gary ran into the kitchen and handed Zook a potato. Zook dropped it into the PVC pipe and rammed it down. Gary sprayed hairspray into the pipe and jumped back. Zook pointed the spud gun out the door and phoonf!




Steph is still… well… Steph.



I shoved Morelli’s gun into the waistband of my jeans at the small of my back, and I stood beside Mooner and looked out the window. The gun was cold and hard and uncomfortable. I popped the snap on my jeans, but it didn’t help a lot. I removed the gun and shoved it under a couch cushion for safekeeping. It was a semi-automatic Glock, and I didn’t actually know how to use it, anyway.


This installment started off as an FTA, but somewhere along the way, Steph became more than a bounty hunter, making it her mission to solve police business.

There was a lot of OTT, more than usual with a monkey and panty eating Bob, Tank fainting and Brenda who was kind of a PITA of a side story.

Safe to say, least fave installment, but I didn’t give up… because I am addicted—regardless.

Ranger was sadly not his usual sexy self. #teamranger

Joe and Steph act more like a twenty year married couple when he isn’t wanting in her panties. Eh, these things happen. We did get more Joe airtime this installment.

Oh and Steph’s car didn’t blow up. Never thought I would miss her car blowing up.

Go figure.

14 books in and there isn't any growth in characters, they are all just the same. In 14 books I doubt anybody has aged. I mean how old are they after this many books? Going on story it is probably only six months down the track. 

I'm curious. 

Anyhoo, I'll be back. I can't seem to stay away.

I've still got two more OP shop finds with #15 and #16, so I shall power along.

#teamranger




Saturday, June 3, 2017

BOOK REVIEW - THE PROTECTOR by JODI ELLEN MALPAS - ADULT CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE - FOREVER

By: Jodi Ellen Malpas
Published By: Forever
Released: Available Now
Details : Netgalley from Publisher for honest review, 384 Pages

RATING: 3.75 - 4 STARS

Blurb: Goodreads

People think they have Camille Logan nailed: daddy's girl; beautiful, spoiled young woman with her father's bank balance to fund her lifestyle. But Camille is determined to have a life free from his strings. Out on her own, she's made mistakes, including one that found her clawing her way back after a stint in rehab and plenty of bad press. Now, after fighting so hard to be independent and happy, she finds her life threatened as a result of her father's ruthless business dealings. Caught between resentment and fear, Camille prepares herself for the measures her father will take to protect her. But nothing could prepare her for the ex-SAS sniper who crashes into her life.

Jake Sharp resides in his own personal hell. He was distracted from duty once before, and the consequences were devastating--both personally and professionally. He vowed never to let that happen again. Accepting the job of bodyguard to Camille Logan isn't the kind of distraction from his demons he should take. Women and Jake don't mix well, yet protecting the heiress seems the lesser of two evils. But Jake soon discovers that she isn't the woman she's perceived to be. She's warm, compassionate, her presence settling, and his duty to protect her soon goes deeper than a well-paid job, no matter how hard he fights it. He needs absolution. He comes to need Camille. But he knows he can't have both.


BOOK REVIEW:

I read The Protector, some time ago and I held off writing my review. I haven't yet read the This Man series, it is still on my TBR pile. I have all the books. I have only read the first two books in One Night series.

Damn... I wanted to love this story, I truly did. I think that is why I held off writing my review, because it is written by Queen JEM.

I have to be honest with my reviews, and I always am, and this one crushes me a bit to write.

I simply didn't find the story original and I didn't connect with Jake until the end...then I was all sniffles.

It was mainly  a connecting with the two main characters thing, for me. 

I still enjoyed the read, but I wanted a protector story that I connected with both characters, and it worked for me as the reader.

This is just my one personal opinion, and I can see so many readers totally dug it with four and five star reviews, and some felt like me. And that is ok.


Thursday, May 11, 2017

BOOK REVIEW - TWELVE SHARP by JANET EVANOVICH - STEPHANIE PLUM # 12 - CONTEMPORARY CRIME - HEADLINE

By: Janet Evanovich
Published By: Headline
Released: Available Now
Details : OP Shop paperback haul, 340 Pages

RATING: 4 STARS

Blurb: Goodreads

Welcome to Trenton, New Jersey, where bounty hunter Stephanie Plum's life is about to implode in Janet Evanovich's wildest, hottest novel yet!

FIRST A STRANGER APPEARS
While chasing down the usual cast of miscreants and weirdos Stephanie discovers that a crazed woman is stalking her.

THEN THE STRANGER REVEALS HER SECRETS
The woman dresses in black, carries a 9mm Glock, and has a bad attitude and a mysterious connection to dark and dangerous Carlos Manoso …street name, Ranger.

NEXT, SOMEBODY DIES
The action turns deadly serious, and Stephanie goes from hunting skips to hunting a murderer.

SOON, THE CHASE IS ON
Ranger needs Stephanie for more reasons than he can say. And now, the two are working together to find a killer, rescue a missing child, and stop a lunatic from raising the body count. When Stephanie Plum and Ranger get too close for comfort, vice cop Joe Morelli (her on-again, off-again boyfriend) steps in.

Will the ticking clock stop at the stroke of twelve, or will a stranger in the wind find a way to stop Stephanie Plum…forever? Filled with Janet Evanovich's trademark action, nonstop adventure, and sharp humor, Twelve Sharp shows why her novels have been called "hot stuff" (The New York Times), and Evanovich herself "the master" (San Francisco Examiner).



BOOK REVIEW:


I’m still on the Stephanie Plum trail and enjoying the rinse-and-repeat shenanigans and formula that goes into one of these books.

Reading a lot of books in succession—isn’t probably the wisest thing to do, knowing the formula—but, eh, away I go.

I went from 5 stars in Ten Big Ones to regressing back to 4 stars. It was good while it lasted that high I got from Steph being under Ranger’s roof and stepping it up and working for RangeMan. A new direction was refreshing for me as a reader of this series.

Now we are back at Vinnie’s and Joyce is back at Vinnie's and Steph and Lula have forgotten all the skills they should have learned by now, but I’m still coming back for more.

Ranger is Ranger and dang, I am having all sorts of moral dilemmas with Ranger-Steph-Joe. I am trying hard not to as this is meant to be a series of silliness and wit and a mystery to solve, Scooby…but—

I gotta address the Ranger situation, and I am #teamranger, but I got me a moral code too. 

So Ranger's in Steph’s bed, all platonic until it heats up (as we discover when Morelli comes-a-knockin’). 

He kissed me, and our tongues touched, and his mouth moved lower and lower ... and lower! And this is the thing I knew about Ranger from the one time we'd been together. Ranger made love. And Ranger liked to kiss. Ranger kissed everything. A lot.

Ranger froze in mid-kiss.

"What? I asked.

"Someone's at your door. I just heard the lock tumble."

"How could you possibly hear the lock tumble? You had your head under the covers!"

He moved off me, slipped out of bed, and started for the door.

"Holy cow!" I said. "You can't go to the door like that!"

"My gun's in the kitchen."

"Yes, but your underwear's on the floor in my bedroom!" And that wasn't the biggest problem.

The front door to my apartment opened, and the chain caught with a snap. There was a moment's silence, and then Morelli's voice sounding impatient.

"Steph?"


#totallyteamranger

BUT!!

Steph calls Joe her boyfriend, loosely. I feel like this lot need to do a threesome and get it over with…not that I think Joe or Ranger would be in on a MMF, they would be more the MFF.

Morelli is a smart guy, so why is he dumbed down when he has walked in on a situation? Why? Because he loves Steph and trusts her.


STEPH!!

Ranger is so damn sexy, has the best lines—babe. He has the moves, the wit and the sex appeal.

Then we have Joe, who in my reader eyes needs to fight for his woman, but he is so blasé. 

A little effort goes into him being a bit put-out by Ranger and Steph…but not much else—dude!

I am only at book 12 so I know this is gonna go on for a lot longer, possibly still is at book 24, but day-um!

It is such a weird thing reading these 3 characters and how Steph processes it in her inner monologues.

Ranger is honest, he lays it out and flirts it up and tries to get some, because he knows he can.

Joe is kinda a flat character romantically and I gotta say he feels like a bit of a doormat.

*GASP*

I said that out loud.

No guy should be written as a doormat 12 books in.

*face plant*

In saying all that, I am still hooked on this series. It just feels off- putting when I get to these parts, like Steph is a cheater and isn't taking real world feelings into consideration.

In the real world, would I want that done to me? No.

Would I want Ranger done to me. Yes! With a big grin on my face. Would I want to hurt Joe? No!

Break Joe and Steph up and let Ranger and her get their thing on for several books ( and for my viewing pleasure), because I feel, Janet, it all leads back to Steph and Joe anyway, but cut the cheating. There is no other way I can look at it. This line Steph crosses isn’t called friends-with-benefits. If it was, that would be okay.

I love the shenanigans and all the silly and all the Lula and sidekicks and predictability of this series as these are poolside reads for me (minus the pool), but I am just not getting Joe-the-doormat and Steph. I don’t ‘feel’ anything there on Steph’s side.

Ranger is honest about his Steph-urges, he says what he thinks. Steph’s like a brand new tennis ball bouncing back and forth. I don’t know? I think I might have lost a little bit of respect for Steph where Joe is concerned. I might not be #teamjoe, but dude needs a bit of respect in their relationship.

Oh the dilemma of the next 12 books.

This isn’t a triangle, it is more of a merry-go-round that keeps going round and round, with no end in sight. Well, I have 11 more books to see what happens there. I can't assume this early.

Another thing that got my goat was Ranger's daughter is abducted...and he's upset, Ranger-style, but I wasn't believing it when he was more concerned for Steph in some places, and a few other things. I get he holds his emotions in, but...

Considering the little girl acknowledges he's her father, ya would think he would show more desperation in locating her. I felt Janet wrote this a bit lazy. No dude should be thinking of sex when their daughter is missing, no matter how little he sees of her. 

I think this book just rubbed me a bit sideways in certain areas, but other areas it was shenanigans and giggles as usual.

 What can I say? I'm addicted to the series.

Oh, and a car was blown up. :) 


Saturday, January 28, 2017

BOOK REVIEW - LADIES MAN by KATY EVANS - MANWHORE # 3 - CONTEMPORARY ROMANCE

By: Katy Evans
Published By: Katy Evans
Released: Available Now
Details: Paperback from library, 286 Pages

RATING: 4 PRETTY COVER STARS!

Blurb: Goodreads

He’s not the guy you date.
He’s the one night stand.

You’d think the man who sends hot looks my way, who called me succulent, would want to strip me to my skin and spread me out on his bed like every other woman in Chicago.

Except he passed on my offer….

Just like I once did on his.

He’s wary, like I am.

He’s broken, like I am.

And everyone knows two broken parts can’t ever make a whole.

So I try to distract myself. I’m back to dating.

Tahoe and I are strictly friends. He doesn’t think my new beau is good enough, but to him, no man is good enough for me. Especially Tahoe himself.

But the more time Tahoe and I spend around each other, the more confused I feel.

I'm trying to open myself to love.

But I'm quickly realizing that the only man I want is stubborn, cocky, unattainable playboy Tahoe Roth.

The one your mother warned you about.
The one my body craves.
The only one who will surely break my heart.


BOOK REVIEW:

I love me some Katy Evans reads. I love the cover of Ladies Man. Tahoe is so preeetty.

I was a bit of a cover whore when it came to choosing this book to read. I admit that.

I am gonna be honest and say, the first 2/3rds of this book was slow. Everything was a slow burn. 

Sexual tension and inner monologuing of thoughts for another man, when you have a boyfriend kinda made me feel bad for Trent. Trent shouldn’t have even been in the story because Gina’s mind really wasn’t interested in him. He was a placeholder.

The last third was sigh-worthy.

I had trouble with both lead characters in the first chunk and dammit I didn’t want to have trouble with Tahoe.

No I didn’t!

I understand this series is called Manwhore for a reason. The lads are manwhores before they are tamed or glued back together…but…gahhhhh!

Tahoe, man, you were a little too much for me at times and I should not say that out loud as this is a KATY EVANS book.



“Look, I’ve probably got a shit-ton of girls still back at my place. I really don’t feel like playing the player tonight.”


Dude! Really? Now I know you are a pretty Viking specimen, but…really. Shit-ton?

Gina's character I needed more about why she would be the one for Tahoe and vice versa. Gina didn’t have a lot of depth to her character, for me.

I loved the lacrosse side to the story, no matter how small it was. It’s a sport here in Australia we don’t hear enough about. I know it’s big in US as my hubs half sister’s kids, all three of them got scholarships in US, due to lacrosse and they are Aussies.

I am so glad I read until the end because I got me TAHOE how I wanted him to be. I understand there has to be angst in this type of read and build-up, but I was having trouble liking him and I wanted to like him.

It's still a solid four star read for me... that's not a bad thing.

I still can’t help thinking that they might need to now move to another far away state so Gina doesn’t keep bumping into all his previous lays because that would start to wear thin after a while.


Yup as the tag says on the front of the cover, ‘The man you mother warned you about.’

*looks back at cover*

Well, that would explain it. It's Franggy Yanez with blue eyes. 

So pretty.


Saturday, December 31, 2016

BOOK REVIEW - FOUR TO SCORE by JANET EVANOVICH - STEPHANIE PLUM # 4 - PAN MACMILLAN - MYSTERY CONTEMPORARY CRIME


By: Janet Evanovich
Published By: Pan Macmillan
Released: Available Now
Details: Paperback from library, 311 Pages

RATING: 4 SHENANIGAN STARS!

Blurb: Goodreads


Stephanie Plum, Trenton, New Jersey's favorite pistol-packing, condom-carrying bounty hunter, is back - and on the trail of a revenge-seeking waitress who's skipped bail. With the help of 73-year-old Grandma Mazur, ex-hooker Lula, a transvestite musician named Sally Sweet, and the all-too-hospitable, all-too-sexy Joe Morelli, Stephanie might just catch her woman. Then again, with more mishaps than there are exits on the Jersey Turnpike - including murders, firebombs, and Stephanie's arch-rival bounty hunter chasing after the same fugitive - Stephanie better watch her back big-time if she wants to live to crack this case.


BOOK REVIEW:


Shenanigans abound.

Morelli vs Plum slides into some home runs.

Ranger just tickles my lady boner.

Sally Sweet is the new addition…rocker-transvestite.

Lula is… H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S.

Put Lula, Grandma Mazur, Sally and Steph on a short road trip to Atlanta and shit will go sideways…inevitable.

Throw in a biaatch from the past and you have another Stephanie Plum installment…well, also a few missing body parts and a murder and cars going KABOOM.

Janet has a way with describing her characters.



If people were cars, Lula would be a big, black ’53 Packard with a high-gloss chrome grill, oversized headlights, and a growl like a junkyard dog. Lots of muscle. Never fit in a compact place.



Ranger was waiting under the canopy. He was dressed in a black T-shirt and black assault pants tucked into black boots. He had a body like Schwarzenegger, dark hair slicked back off his face and a two-hundred-watt smile. He was drop-dead sexy, he was as sane as Batman, and he was a primo bounty hunter.


He was dressed in tight black leather pants held together at the sides with leather lacing that left a strip of pale white flesh from ankle to waist, and a black leather vest that molded around cone-shaped , eat-your-heart-out-Madonna breasts. He was close to seven feet tall in his black platform pumps. He had a large hook nose, red roses tattooed on his biceps and – thank you, Lord – he didn’t had a tongue stud. He was wearing a blond Farrah Fawcett wig, fake eyelashes and glossy maroon lipstick. His nails had been painted to match his lips.



Then put Lula and Sally together and the discussions on female attire and cosmetics.



He was wearing leather sandals, cut-offs that were so short he had a cheek showing, a sleeveless T-shirt top and a two-day beard.

“Not sure you totally got the hang of this woman stuff,” Lula said. “Think maybe you’d do better shaving your ass than worrying about lip gloss.”






“Jesus,” Sally said, “who do you think I am, Thunder the Wonder Horse? My gun wouldn’t fit in my purse.”

“You need to get a smaller gun,” Lula said. “Ruins your lines with that big Glock in your drawers.”


And because Debbie Reynolds passed away yesterday, and after seeing her as Grandma Mazur in the One For The Money movie, which I watched again yesterday, here is a quote.



“Pot roast,” Lula said. “Boy, I like pot roast.” She pulled a chair up and shook out her napkin.

“I always wanted to eat with a Negro,” Grandma said.

“Yeah, well, I always wanted to eat with a boney-assed old white woman,” Lula said. “So I guess this works out good.”

Grandma and Lula did some complicated handshake thing.

“Bitchin’,” Grandma said.



Another fun beach read that has me coming back for more.



R.I.P Debbie and Carrie.